Photo by Street Art Atlas
I think a good place to start the blog is probably to explain what the work for the exhibition is about and the reasons behind it. It’s a tough one to write but I’ll give it a go!
The work for the exhibition explores the themes of loss and grief and it all started from my own personal experience. In January 2019 at the age of 26 my best friend, Oli Hilsdon, passed away after a 5 year battle with Glioblastoma Multiforme, the most aggressive and lethal form of adult brain cancer. The impact of the loss was huge on anyone who knew him and is an experience no one can ever be prepared for. I met Oli when I was 15, he was an incredibly smart and kind person, but the thing I remember best is just how much fun he was. The way he handled his illness was so unbelievably impressive and he never let it get in the way of him living his life. He was so supportive of me and my work even though he didn’t particularly give a shit about art! Memories can become a tough thing to deal with after the loss of a loved one, but I’m so grateful for all the ones I have with Oli. I miss him all the time.
The feelings after a devastating loss are indescribable and talking about it is something I have struggled with ever since. The inability to talk about it or process it properly is really what started the work for this exhibition. I found the easiest way to explore how I was feeling and what I was thinking was through my work. I’ve used painting over the last couple of years as a way to help me deal with how I feel about losing Oli and it gives me space to grieve. I hope with the exhibition people will be able to explore their own feelings of loss, whether that’s grieving the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship or one of the many different versions of loss we experience.
The first painting I produced in this series is the mural pictured above. I had started to explore symbolism and the way we reflect grief physically. I set up a couple of photoshoots to get reference images for the exhibition work and was given the chance to paint this wall on Hanbury Street by Not Banksy Forum. The mural explores the idea of living in harmony with grief, and the solace I found in accepting its presence in my life. The 3 candles in the image are to honour Oli and the mural was painted for him. I painted all 3 flames and then the very final thing I did was paint over the last flame in what I thought would be a cathartic act, but actually it just turned out to be very upsetting. All jokes aside, standing at the top of that ladder painting over the final flame after 2 weeks of solid work on the wall was a very emotional moment and is a perfect example of how painting can help you process something.
Photo by Not Banksy Forum
In memory of Oli a charity has been set up which funds brain tumour research. www.olihilsdonfoundation.org